About the project…
While I was on a walk with my dog on November 9, I heard a voice telling me to record an album. I walked another mile before I stopped. I was standing on High Street in downtown Columbus on the overpass crossing into German Village. I stepped off to the side of the walkway and pulled my phone out. I texted Levi Brown, Dom Polemeni, Andy Sipe, and Isaac Bednarki. I said that I wanted to record an album LIVE at Ginger Rabbit on February 4. And here we are!
The music on this album has been written between April of 2023 and December of 2024. This period of my life was filled with some pretty tremendous growth and transformation. I confronted a lot of hard truths head-on and no longer allowed myself to hide from them. I healed. I learned. And now I’m ready to share this music and these words, messages, and lessons. It is my hope that this album reaches ears that need to hear it and hearts that need to feel it. My heart has been transfomed, and I hope to bring healing to others as well.
“Weather”
This song was inspired by a passing comment made to me by a fellow musician. We were on a set break at a gig, and I was in a bad mood because of the day I’d had. I apologized for my mood, and instead of making me feel worse, he said “Sometimes we bring our own weather” and shrugged it off.
This really got me thinking, and I realized that there are so many times when I create my own storms. There I was at a gig with people I loved singing with, getting paid to do something I am so passionate about and love so much. That is an objectively incredible position to be in, and I lacked the wherewithal to recognize how grateful I should have been for the present moment.
Let this song remind you that sometimes we DO bring our own weather, and we make things out to be worse than they are.
Lyrics:
Sometimes we bring our own weather
We make rainstorms out of clear skies
Calm cloudless days fill with pressure
Making tornadoes spin aroBirds und our minds
Sometimes we bring our own weather
Let gray skies cover the blue
Rainbows that once shone above us
Suddenly are swept out of view
Sometimes we bring our own weather
Try to control what’s already been done
Just let the winds of life blow where they must
You can walk, you don’t have to run
Sometimes we bring our own weather
Creating thunder on a clear day
Birds that once all sang together
Suddenly have nothing to say
Please don’t bring your weather to me, I won’t bring mine to you
Sometimes we must let things exist how they’re meant to
“Leave”
This song went in a COMPLETELY different direction than I thought it would when I first started writing it. It started out as a song that was begging someone to stay as they walked out of my life. However, as I reflected, I realized that NO ONE that LEAVES YOU on purpose is FOR YOU. So instead of being a longing, heart-broken ballad, it turned into an anthem of empowerment and celebration of self love.
This song has helped me remember that my love for myself should not, does not, can not, and never will come from anyone else. It’s easy to feel rejected, abandoned, hurt, or ignored. But we must be the source of our own love and acceptance.
So as you listen to these words, think about the things you need to LEAVE your life, and reflect on how much better off you will be. It can be scary and uncomfortable at first, but discomfort is how we grow.
Lyrics:
My head hasn’t been clear since you came around
You make me feel unsure if I’m on solid ground
And each time you push me away
You pull me back in with the sweet things you do and say
You open your mouth and lies tumble out
I don’t know what these facades and scripts you read are all about
If I could just change one little thing
I’d want you to walk away and let me cut this string
But you let your true colors shine
And the flag that you flew wasn’t the one that I knew
You said your heart would be mine
But upon some review, I found out I don’t want you
Turn your back and go
I don’t care what there was
I don’t want tickets to your show
Find someone else’s applause
It’s crazy to say I wanted you here
Next to me to grow through all the things life threw our way
I wanted you to stay and help me to see
Wanted you to prove that you had what it takes to love me
“Sunshine”
This song was written during a moment of existential crisis. I had just been through a breakup, was feeling incredibly alone, was about to live alone for the first time ever, and didn’t know what to do. I was sitting on the floor crying with my dog, and I felt the warm sun shining through the window on the cold winter afternoon. My dog licked my tears, laid next to me, and stayed until I was calm. I thought “Wow, I am so lucky he loves me.” Then, I had a revelation: he is lucky I love him! In this moment, I realized that I am not only WORTHY of RECEIVING love, but CAPABLE of GIVING it.
This song is dedicated to my dog, Rosco, and is written from his perspective. I adopted him from a shelter after he was taken in as a stray. It was his first day up for adoption, and I was his first visitor. He went from living in the streets to spending his days in warm, secure, endless love. I will buy him chicken nuggets until the end of his days and will carry him in my heart forever.
Let this song remind you that LOVE can be the sunshine on your cloudy days, warm you up when you’re cold, and change your life.
Lyrics:
I was shivering inside
Couldn’t get warm no matter how hard I tried
Had no one to turn to nowhere to call my own
Just sat by myself and cried
I was stuck out in the rain
What seemed like every day
No matter where I went no matter where I turned
I couldn’t get away
Then one day you came along
The clouds rolled away
You got me feelin awfully secure
You got me feelin like I never felt before
You got me feeling like something’s just right
You got me feeling sunshine in the night
Just because you came my way
And made everything change
Your love feels like sunshine
There’s warmth on my shoulders
Your kisses they tell me everything is okay
You love feels like sunshine
There’s a radiance surrounds you
I’m grateful I can feeel your warmth
Every day
“Light”
I was lying in bed one night before bed. My hallway light was on so it wasn’t completely dark. I realized that’s how I’d always slept since I’d lived alone: with a light on. My mind started wandering and thinking about why. Over the next hour or so, the words came to me.
I realized that I was holding on to a lot of old darkness, and I felt shame about it. As I continued writing, I came to realize that there will ALWAYS be darkness, whether inside or around us, and it is nothing to feel shame about. This song serves as a reminder that there is ALWAYS light, you just have to allow yourself to see it.
A person very dear to me once said “You have to expect that the people who love you will help you, then accept it when they do.” None of us are alone. If you find yourself needing help, ask for it. Let them be the light for you until you can be the light for yourself. And if you love someone who needs help, be the light for them.
Lyrics:
Leave the light on to help me see
Everything that’s still a mystery
Cuz in the dark the shadows swallow me
Bring back to where I hate to be
Leave the light on while I heal
And remember how it feels to feel
Cuz all this darkness brings fear to me
Nothingness and pain is all I see
Leave the light on it’s dark inside
I just want to lay right here and hide
From all the things I’m afraid to do
And all things I don’t want to be true
Leave the light on I’ll do my best to
Catch my breath and try to get some rest
I don’t wanna feel like this again
So I will take some time to look within
I don’t wanna go back to where I was
So please just take my hand and lead me back to love
Shine the light every night
At least until I’m alright
You can’t have one without the other
They co-exist with one another
Dark will come, but light will too
Hope’s not gone, I’ll carry through
It’s time to try something new
I’ll turn the light out because I’ll know
I have everything I need to grow
And there’s beauty inside of me
And there’s light within and now I see
I don’t need to go back to where I was
Because now I understand I’m filled with light and love
I’ll shine my light day and night
I know that everything’s alright
“Blossoms”
Last spring, I was on a walk with my dog in downtown Columbus. I left my phone at home, as I tend to do on my “clear my head” walks. As I was walking, I noticed little green buds on the trees that hadn’t been there a couple of days before. A few blocks later, I saw some flower blossoms begin to bloom. Once we were sitting in the grass by the river, I heard birds chirping. I saw signs of life and restoration all around, and I felt alive and surrounded by life again. Oftentimes, the winter months bring me a sense of stillness that is crippling.
As I sat and appreciated the resurrection of the Earth, I heard these words and melodies flow into my head. I didn’t have my phone, and I was so afraid I would forget them. I walked home, sat at the piano, and sang this song. It truly came to me in a way that I couldn’t believe, and I’m so glad it did.
Please let this song remind you that SEASONS in life are NECESSARY. Allow yourself to exist PEACEFULLY and PATIENTLY. Do not rush through the necessary trials, tribulations, lessons, triumphs, and opportunities for growth that are presented to you. Savor each moment of each season.
Lyrics:
I love to greet the blossoms in the spring
And watch all of the baby birds learn how to use their wings
There’s a brand new version of the world for all of our discovering
As we hear the earth begin again to sing
There’s nothing like the grass beneath my feet
As it turns again to green the cycle seems complete
Sometimes we must say goodbye to things we love until again we meet
Like the blossoms wait ’til spring for us to greet
The summer sun shines brightly on my face
Only for a moment ’til the fall comes to replace
All the things that once were green all turn to brown, leaves on the ground their resting place
As the autumn slows the world down with sweet grace
A chill begins to nip upon my nose
As the earth is covered in a fresh blanket of snow
Sometimes we must take a breath and take a rest so we may continue to grow
Because winter leads to spring, spring means blossoms grow
Because winter leads to spring, spring means blossoms grow
And the blossoms turn to summer, and the summer comes to glow
That glow then turns to autumn and the autumn wind it blows
And becomes the stillness of the chilly winter woes
But the winter’s rest is beautiful
As it helps the earth prepare
For blossoms to grow
“Prayer”
This song is very personal, and I have hesitated to share it. As someone in the public eye, I have often taken a neutral position on…everything. The temptation to not take a stand in hopes of remaining relevant for EVERYONE is strong. However, this is not something I am ashamed of, and this is my first public declaration of this truth: I am a Christian, and my relationship with God is strong and important to me. This was not always the case. I denied God for nearly 10 years of adulthood. Through many encounters I cannot explain, I began to open my heart to Him.
This song uses the chord progression to a beautiful arrangement of The Lord’s Prayer that I sang with my mother when I was young. The first day I went back to church at New Covenant Believers in early March of 2023, I got home and sat to play that song. These words came out instead. The lyrics are a declaration of appreciation for forgiveness and for love that doesn’t fail, falter, or fall short.
If you are not a believer, I hope you can still find meaning in these words. Love does not and should not abandon, cause harm, react in anger, exist in jealousy, or create resentment. This song not only reminds me how to SHOW love, but also how to RECOGNIZE & RECEIVE it.
Lyrics:
Here I am, standing at your feet
Asking you to forgive me
For what I’ve said and what I’ve done
I wish I’d stayed, but I chose to run
Here I am, in front of you
Hoping that your love it true
You never turned your back on me
My lesson’s learned and now I see
Your love is unfailing
Your love’s neverending
You love me through it all, through the big and through the small
You took the call, I owe it all to you
Here I am, I stand in awe
Of your wondrous love, more and more I fall
Into your arms, the strength I always knew
Here I am, I stand in awe
Of your wondrous love, more and more I fall
Into your arms, the strength I always knew
Oh, I was made to love you
“Home”
In a conversation with my dear friend Levi who plays bass on this album, I shared how much Columbus means to me. I’ve lived here since the fall of 2017 after leaving behind everything I knew and loved in North Dakota. It was a leap of faith that my heart knew I needed to take. Columbus is more than a place I live, it is a place where I have failed, succeeded, grown, and learned.
He sent me a voice memo one day of a song idea that said: “I think I found my home” with a simple melody. I ran with it and sent him a complete song within a couple days.
This song celebrates the idea of HOME, whatever that is to you. Where do YOU feel home? If you do not feel it, I urge you to find it. Maybe you don’t have to move across the country. Maybe you just need a change of social scenery, a new hobby, or a mindset shift. Finding a feeling of HOME is truly the most liberating and freeing thing.
This song is dedicated to all of the people, places, and experiences that have shaped me in my time here. Thank you, Columbus.
Lyrics:
Never had much a place anywhere I went
Till I found you, it’s like you were heaven-sent
Had a hard time finding my own way
Till I found you like the dawn of a new day
Out of place was where I lived for most of my days
Till I found you, and you set my soul ablaze
Stumblin in the dark, trippin and falling down
Till I found you, and you turned my life around
I think I found my home
A place to call my own
From here I’ll never roam
This place where I have grown
Into a life I love
Like the poets all write of
Like the paradise above
I’m home
Home is where I am
“Here”
This is the song that started this project. It was written on my couch on New Year’s Day in 2024. I was having a panic attack, thinking of all the ways I’d failed, fallen short, embarrassed myself, and caused harm. All the ways I’d been hurt, lied to, and let down. I realized that my life would not be what it is without those experiences, because they led to learning, growing, creating, discovering, and LIVING.
We are ultimately a product of our experiences. The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. We GET to learn. We GET to hurt. We GET to fail. We GET to succeed. We GET to love. We GET to feel.
Life itself is the prize, and we GET to live it.
Embrace life in all its seasons. Accept all it has to offer. Open your arms and take it all in. We only get to do this once, so don’t allow yourself to sit in darkness for too long. The light always has been and always will be there.
I’m so happy you’re HERE. I’m HERE. We’re HERE.
Lyrics:
I’ve been a lot of places
I’ve seen a lot of things
I’ve met a lot of faces
And seen the joy that love can bring day
I’ve made a lot of mistakes
I’ve apologized and cried
I’ve learned what sacrifice takes
I have persevered and tried
I’ve failed and I have struggled
I’ve been hurt and I’ve been bruised
I’ve been burdened and been troubled
Taken advantage of and used
I’ve set a lot of boundaries
I’ve cut a lot of ties
The truth has always found me
And I’ve seen right through the lies
But of everywhere I’ve been
And all the things I’ve done
And all the people I
Have come to really love
And of all the lessons that
I learned throughout the years
The thing the matters most
Is that I’m here
I know that I can rest now
I don’t have to move so fast
I don’t have to let my present
Be ruled by what’s already passed
I’m proud of who I am now
I’m learning and it shows
I don’t always have to know how
I’m gonna try again and grow
Jasmine Spitzer 